Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Thankful for Sight

I’ve always been a bookworm. I remember the day when I realized I could read my name. I was probably four years old. From then on, I always had a book with me. I kept one under my pillow so I could read the minute I woke up; I carried one everywhere so I could snatch a quick look at recess and lunch; I read instead of doing homework or playing; I read in bed until lights out when I slipped the book back under my pillow.

As an adult, I still love to read, although I’ve learned to balance it with my responsibilities. So when my vision became blurry in the mornings this last year, I worried a little. I could manage a quick peek at Facebook or the weather report, but concentrated reading became hard. I was eventually diagnosed with a genetic disease that required a partial corneal transplant. As scary as that sounds, I looked forward to it so I could read clearly again. It went well, but I also received an intraocular lens because I had cataracts. The end result is that I can see distance very well but can’t see words on a page at all. I’m wearing magnifying glasses as I write this, but it still takes concentration to see the words clearly.

When the disease was diagnosed, I asked my pastor to pray for my healing. Although it wasn’t instantaneous, God answered that prayer. He healed me through one of the foremost specialists in corneal transplants. The disease will not return, my overall vision is better than it was and will continue to get better. 

But when the shield came off my eye and the world was blurry, I wasn’t thankful. I whined.

I wanted to be able to read. I was tired of lying on my back. Putting drops in my eye every two hours was a nuisance. I wanted to be able to read. I wanted to sleep on my side. I hated putting glasses on and taking them off and putting them on and taking them off. I wanted to read.

The real problem wasn’t my eyesight. It was that I let my problem close my spiritual eyes for a little while. When things began to be blurry in the mornings, it was hard to read my Bible, so I put off having my devotions until later in the day when I could see better. Only, I usually didn’t get around to them. So I started going days without spending time with my Lord. Soon all kinds of attitudes became skewed. I started to worry. I stopped praying for people. I ignored promptings from the Holy Spirit. And I whined.

Now, though, I’m thankful again. I’m thankful for all the days that God has called me into His presence and I have answered. I’m thankful that through His Word and His love, my roots have grown deeply into Him and that my life is built on Him. I’m thankful that He has reminded me of His love and has gently opened my eyes to Him again.

And I’m thankful for reading glasses (even though I have to take them on and off) and that I can read the Bible on my computer in a nice BIG font.


  1. Wow. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Will your up-close vision eventually improve?

    I'm praying! I love you!

  2. Tracy, you know I appreciate your prayers. But don't pray that my vision will improve. Pray that I will joyfully embrace whatever God has for me.