Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My Tower

With Eryn in the hospital, I’m naturally reminded of the time nine years ago when Neal was also in ICU. And I’m grateful that my thoughts have returned to the scriptures that comforted me then. I was in such distress that at first I couldn’t even write in my journal. Instead I read through the Psalms several times and copied down the verses that comforted me most. This was one of them.

God is my safe tower and that is never more apparent to me than when one of my children is suffering or in danger. There is very little I can do for them, but God reminds me that He cares for them. He comforts me and protects me from storms of grief and doubt. He gives me strength to survive the storm and to do what I need to do.

I have a mental image of myself standing deep in an embrasure in a tall stone tower. As the wind and rain storm around the tower, I am safe and dry. 
When Neal was the one in danger, I went into the hospital stairwell to be alone and poured out my heart to the Lord. He truly was my refuge and in the midst of tears I could say in the words of the hymn, “It is well with my soul.”

This time, I pray in snatches between games of Candy Land, making meals and trips to the hospital. But He is no less my refuge and in both cases my hope has been in Him. This time, I am more able to wait quietly before Him. I am amazed that I am not shaken.

I’m grateful that God chose me long ago, that I have walked with Him a long time and that in times of trial I don’t have to go looking for Him. He is both my rock and my salvation and I trust in Him.

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